Today is Chara's last day as a first grader. She has become less and less a little girl and more and more a big girl. Her vocabulary grows every day. Sometimes it's quite funny to hear something she'll tell me. She has started to take care of her mom too. I will have you know that I have been given permission on more than occasion to stay home from work if I don't feel good. Or on my days off she has also told me to go back to bed and get some rest! Her personality is blooming. She definitely is energetic, but she's learning to rein it in and to put that energy other places. Chara still loves princesses, and any time she gets to watch or do anything related to them she's all for it.
This year she's been able to spend every Tuesday with her dad bowling. Something that she looks forward to every week. Talking on the phone with him is not always a favorite though.
Chara has also learned how to ice skate and cross-country ski this year. All thanks to Grandpa. She also rang a bell for a Salvation Army Bucket this Christmas.
This summer I'm looking forward to see her imagination grow as she develops her reading...she enjoys it more and more! I'm also excited to see her learn how to ride her bike without training wheels. We just have to be intentional about finding time to do it.
Oh, Chara lost her first teeth this year and we are still waiting for the last few to make their way out. It will be interesting to see if her mouth will be as crowded as it looks like it will.
Another first happens tonight as we celebrate the end of school and our dear friend K's birthday! A sleepover with our H-bug, K and R! We are so excited!!
Happy summer to you all and may you find time to bask in the enjoyment of a lazy summer day and the Son who reflects the warmest and brightest light.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Two scheduled days off, two sick days
Yesterday was supposed to be a quiet relaxing refreshing day at home for me. Get some homework and housework done and having a quiet day at home, then going to meet up with my good friend H and her son I. Well, the day didn't really pan out that way. Chara has been fighting a cold since Saturday at least. I thought it would get better and it seemed to be getting worse. So I kept Chara home hoping that getting more rest would help. It seemed to until we were in the car 5 minutes away from meeting H and I and she threw up in the car! She hadn't eaten anything and the stomach ache was out of the blue, so we didn't get to go hang out and she didn't get to go on the field trip to the zoo today either! I was all set to go as a chaperone too, but not this time. I felt bad for her, but glad that I already these two days scheduled off so that I wouldn't have to lose that precious work time.
I did get my first two homework assignments and quizzes done while she was taking naps and we were able to have semi quiet days. Now I'm starting to develop computer head and she is getting a little stir crazy.
My goal for the evening is to get the house in good order before the weekend and to get out for a walk tonight. We shall see what happens!
I did get my first two homework assignments and quizzes done while she was taking naps and we were able to have semi quiet days. Now I'm starting to develop computer head and she is getting a little stir crazy.
My goal for the evening is to get the house in good order before the weekend and to get out for a walk tonight. We shall see what happens!
Monday, May 24, 2010
I thought school was out for the summer
I haven't made it to being in the nursing program yet or for that matter even applying for it. But, I am still taking classes. Over the next 8 weeks, I will be taking Intercultural Communication. It's classified as a Speech class, but also works as an elective that I need to have completed. It will be interesting to see what the class is about and what kind of discussions there will be because of the content.
I was hoping to have my house in order by the time the class started, but it is not anywhere near where I wanted it to be. My goal is to get up in the morning and get my living room picked up before work tomorrow. I do have all of tomorrow night because Chara will be hanging out with her dad. That would be nice to have it picked up and ready to be cleaned so that Wednesday morning I can get the actual cleaning done and then get a big chunk of my homework done for the week.
On a different note...my family all got together this weekend for my mom's birthday at Nerstrand Big Woods State Park. It was a lot of fun. Our family used to do it pretty regularly...there's a waterfall that we hike down to and explore around and of course do the pictures and then we hike back up for a picnic. This year Dad did steaks and Britta made an awesome cake...angel food with a pineapple pudding filling! It was so good to just be with my family that way. It was motivation to get me to start moving more too...Chara and I may need to make monthly treks out there.
I was hoping to have my house in order by the time the class started, but it is not anywhere near where I wanted it to be. My goal is to get up in the morning and get my living room picked up before work tomorrow. I do have all of tomorrow night because Chara will be hanging out with her dad. That would be nice to have it picked up and ready to be cleaned so that Wednesday morning I can get the actual cleaning done and then get a big chunk of my homework done for the week.
On a different note...my family all got together this weekend for my mom's birthday at Nerstrand Big Woods State Park. It was a lot of fun. Our family used to do it pretty regularly...there's a waterfall that we hike down to and explore around and of course do the pictures and then we hike back up for a picnic. This year Dad did steaks and Britta made an awesome cake...angel food with a pineapple pudding filling! It was so good to just be with my family that way. It was motivation to get me to start moving more too...Chara and I may need to make monthly treks out there.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Tough Week
I can't put my finger on exactly why this week has been so hard for me. There's nothing really in particular that made it hard, it just was. I had a significant decrease in sleep...because I'm such a night owl that I have a hard time put myself to bed. Due to that, I also had no motivation to do anything around the house. It's frustrating having a perpetual mess. Plus the mess then gets overwhelming because I haven't done anything about it and I get so overwhelmed that I don't do anything about cleaning it up. Aaargh...
Writing lists doesn't always help either. I make them, but quite often do not accomplish everything on them. The cycle just keeps on going.
I'm also stressing a little because I start an online class on Monday...Intercultural Communication. I want my house to be somewhat in order before it starts because I know that the next 8 weeks will be jam-packed with homework.
Part of me wonders if I'm under some kind of spiritual warfare. My quiet time hasn't been very consistent lately and my mood is rather blah. I find myself on days like this letting the loneliness overtake me and just burrowing into myself. Allowing the blahs to become my decision makers for me..I guess you could say. So tomorrow I plan on starting my day with a good cup of coffee and my Bible and Jesus! May all of you be able to have some good time with the One who gives peace and reassurance tomorrow too!
Writing lists doesn't always help either. I make them, but quite often do not accomplish everything on them. The cycle just keeps on going.
I'm also stressing a little because I start an online class on Monday...Intercultural Communication. I want my house to be somewhat in order before it starts because I know that the next 8 weeks will be jam-packed with homework.
Part of me wonders if I'm under some kind of spiritual warfare. My quiet time hasn't been very consistent lately and my mood is rather blah. I find myself on days like this letting the loneliness overtake me and just burrowing into myself. Allowing the blahs to become my decision makers for me..I guess you could say. So tomorrow I plan on starting my day with a good cup of coffee and my Bible and Jesus! May all of you be able to have some good time with the One who gives peace and reassurance tomorrow too!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mother's Day (was Yesterday)
Chara gave me a great card for Mother's Day. There's a poem in it she wrote that says:
M(y mom is fun)
O(r my mom is cool)
M(y mom loves me)
M(y mom and I are a team)
Y(ou're my best friend)
What a good thing for my heart to see what she had written! So strange to think that the little baby I was holding in my arms 7 years ago is now a first grader and able to write me love notes and read chapter books! Hopefully my coolness quotient will become more concrete as she gets older. Although, I do have to admit, I highly doubt it.
For my gift from her, I also received a parade rose, rose bush. And from my H-bug and R and K...a Zinnia and a framed sisters pictures of the girls,as well as a single one of the H-bug. Now where am I going to put them?
Another part of my mother's day gift was a banquet for birth moms on Friday night hosted by New Life Family Services. It has become a highlight of my year. This was my third year attending and last year, mom, K and I actually were the speakers...sharing as birth mom, birth grandma and adoptive mom. This year the highlight for me was Michael Pierce Donnelly playing an original song he had written to birth moms. He is an adoptive father himself and he wrote it, I believe to the birth mother of one of his children. The song has made me cry everytime I have heard it...ok so it's only been twice, but it speaks right to the heart of how a birth mother feels. It was so good to have K sitting next to me as I listened. She is very sensitive to the emotions that I experience as the birth mother of our H-bug and to be able to reach out and grab her hand and feel those things together is almost more healing than anything else that I could think of. It was also very good for me to have one of my best friends, Sandy, there so that she could get a little more of how my bond with K has developed and some of the things I have experienced as a birth mom. I am so blessed with how I have been supported so differently and by so many people!
Now off to bed I go with a belated Happy Mother's Day to you all!
M(y mom is fun)
O(r my mom is cool)
M(y mom loves me)
M(y mom and I are a team)
Y(ou're my best friend)
What a good thing for my heart to see what she had written! So strange to think that the little baby I was holding in my arms 7 years ago is now a first grader and able to write me love notes and read chapter books! Hopefully my coolness quotient will become more concrete as she gets older. Although, I do have to admit, I highly doubt it.
For my gift from her, I also received a parade rose, rose bush. And from my H-bug and R and K...a Zinnia and a framed sisters pictures of the girls,as well as a single one of the H-bug. Now where am I going to put them?
Another part of my mother's day gift was a banquet for birth moms on Friday night hosted by New Life Family Services. It has become a highlight of my year. This was my third year attending and last year, mom, K and I actually were the speakers...sharing as birth mom, birth grandma and adoptive mom. This year the highlight for me was Michael Pierce Donnelly playing an original song he had written to birth moms. He is an adoptive father himself and he wrote it, I believe to the birth mother of one of his children. The song has made me cry everytime I have heard it...ok so it's only been twice, but it speaks right to the heart of how a birth mother feels. It was so good to have K sitting next to me as I listened. She is very sensitive to the emotions that I experience as the birth mother of our H-bug and to be able to reach out and grab her hand and feel those things together is almost more healing than anything else that I could think of. It was also very good for me to have one of my best friends, Sandy, there so that she could get a little more of how my bond with K has developed and some of the things I have experienced as a birth mom. I am so blessed with how I have been supported so differently and by so many people!
Now off to bed I go with a belated Happy Mother's Day to you all!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Birth Mother's Day
Today, the Saturday before Mother's Day, is Birth-mother's day. It is a day when those women who have placed their children for adoption are celebrated. It is different than Mother's Day. It is a day that I am celebrated. I am a birth mom. I placed a beautiful little girl into the arms of her parents on March 6, 2008. That was the day of the entrustment ceremony. The day when I officially put her into the arms of her parents relinquishing her into their care and raising. A day that was extremely difficult and beautiful. A day that I will always remember.
I knew for a long time that this child growing inside of me was not mine, but God's. He created her for a purpose and that purpose was to make some very special people parents and to make their family complete. She also had the purpose of bringing hope and healing into my life. I was "brought back" to my relationship with Christ.
The decision to place came after the result of decision making counseling with a social worker through New Life Family Services. As a divorced, single-mom of a 4 year old girl, I already was having difficulty parenting and keeping my life in order and to add a baby to that mix would have created a disaster!
On the night of her birth, this beautiful baby girl was born into love and support that is hard to explain. Her parents, birth grandma, birth aunt and birth great-aunt were all able to be there. From that day on my family has been extended to include this little girl, her parents and other members of her extended family. God has created a bond that cannot be explained except for by his grace. We have been able to share an openness where Chara knows that this little one is her sister. Where her parents and I can share in the joys and trials of parenting and the general ups and downs of life.
So, today is a bittersweet day for me. I am celebrated in my placing a child into the arms of a couple that has brought as much joy to me as I have to them. But I am also celebrated in the pain of not being able to raise this little girl as my own. I know that this was the choice that God had for me. That my life would be nowhere near where it is now without the decision to place my little girl for adoption. Her life has given me hope...hope for Chara's future, hope for my future and hope for her future. Hope that God knows my future and that He is in control.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11
I knew for a long time that this child growing inside of me was not mine, but God's. He created her for a purpose and that purpose was to make some very special people parents and to make their family complete. She also had the purpose of bringing hope and healing into my life. I was "brought back" to my relationship with Christ.
The decision to place came after the result of decision making counseling with a social worker through New Life Family Services. As a divorced, single-mom of a 4 year old girl, I already was having difficulty parenting and keeping my life in order and to add a baby to that mix would have created a disaster!
On the night of her birth, this beautiful baby girl was born into love and support that is hard to explain. Her parents, birth grandma, birth aunt and birth great-aunt were all able to be there. From that day on my family has been extended to include this little girl, her parents and other members of her extended family. God has created a bond that cannot be explained except for by his grace. We have been able to share an openness where Chara knows that this little one is her sister. Where her parents and I can share in the joys and trials of parenting and the general ups and downs of life.
So, today is a bittersweet day for me. I am celebrated in my placing a child into the arms of a couple that has brought as much joy to me as I have to them. But I am also celebrated in the pain of not being able to raise this little girl as my own. I know that this was the choice that God had for me. That my life would be nowhere near where it is now without the decision to place my little girl for adoption. Her life has given me hope...hope for Chara's future, hope for my future and hope for her future. Hope that God knows my future and that He is in control.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11
Friday, May 7, 2010
So, I've decided to start a blog.
"A blog?" you ask. Yes a blog.
Maybe this will help me process my hike down this unknown path called life. So often we are hit square in the face with the circumstances of life like a surprise branch on the trail. At times it may only be a small branch that gives us a small scratch on our cheek, other times a log we trip over and sprain an ankle only to have to get back up and limp on. And then there are those huge cliffs we don't see because we have turned to look in a different direction or lost sight of the destination and end up flat on our backs needing to be airlifted out ... having to rely on others to help us.
This blog will be my story of how my path has taken and is taking me through my life.
Faith means hope. How true is that?! Without faith there is no hope. I have faith that there is something better at the end of this path. Faith that the God who has created this path ultimately knows what is around the next bend or how to heal the next battle scar. Faith that my daughter will grow up to be a strong, gracious and compassionate woman. Faith that her battle scars will not be as visible as some of mine have been. Faith that what I am learning will help others see more of the paths that they are traveling on. Ultimately my faith is in the God who has conquered death to bring us life. To bring us hope!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
"A blog?" you ask. Yes a blog.
Maybe this will help me process my hike down this unknown path called life. So often we are hit square in the face with the circumstances of life like a surprise branch on the trail. At times it may only be a small branch that gives us a small scratch on our cheek, other times a log we trip over and sprain an ankle only to have to get back up and limp on. And then there are those huge cliffs we don't see because we have turned to look in a different direction or lost sight of the destination and end up flat on our backs needing to be airlifted out ... having to rely on others to help us.
This blog will be my story of how my path has taken and is taking me through my life.
Faith means hope. How true is that?! Without faith there is no hope. I have faith that there is something better at the end of this path. Faith that the God who has created this path ultimately knows what is around the next bend or how to heal the next battle scar. Faith that my daughter will grow up to be a strong, gracious and compassionate woman. Faith that her battle scars will not be as visible as some of mine have been. Faith that what I am learning will help others see more of the paths that they are traveling on. Ultimately my faith is in the God who has conquered death to bring us life. To bring us hope!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
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