Birth Mother's Day

Today, the Saturday before Mother's Day, is Birth-mother's day. It is a day when those women who have placed their children for adoption are celebrated. It is different than Mother's Day. It is a day that I am celebrated. I am a birth mom. I placed a beautiful little girl into the arms of her parents on March 6, 2008. That was the day of the entrustment ceremony. The day when I officially put her into the arms of her parents relinquishing her into their care and raising. A day that was extremely difficult and beautiful. A day that I will always remember.
I knew for a long time that this child growing inside of me was not mine, but God's. He created her for a purpose and that purpose was to make some very special people parents and to make their family complete. She also had the purpose of bringing hope and healing into my life. I was "brought back" to my relationship with Christ.
The decision to place came after the result of decision making counseling with a social worker through New Life Family Services. As a divorced, single-mom of a 4 year old girl, I already was having difficulty parenting and keeping my life in order and to add a baby to that mix would have created a disaster!
On the night of her birth, this beautiful baby girl was born into love and support that is hard to explain. Her parents, birth grandma, birth aunt and birth great-aunt were all able to be there. From that day on my family has been extended to include this little girl, her parents and other members of her extended family. God has created a bond that cannot be explained except for by his grace. We have been able to share an openness where Chara knows that this little one is her sister. Where her parents and I can share in the joys and trials of parenting and the general ups and downs of life.
So, today is a bittersweet day for me. I am celebrated in my placing a child into the arms of a couple that has brought as much joy to me as I have to them. But I am also celebrated in the pain of not being able to raise this little girl as my own. I know that this was the choice that God had for me. That my life would be nowhere near where it is now without the decision to place my little girl for adoption. Her life has given me hope...hope for Chara's future, hope for my future and hope for her future. Hope that God knows my future and that He is in control.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11