I love fall. The crunch of leaves under your feet as you walk, apple cider, pumpkin coffee and creamer, warm spicy scented candles, and the feeling of starting over with a new school year. Can you just feel the slight chill in the air as we take a walk and chat together?
This fall Chara is in 3rd grade. THIRD GRADE! I feel nowhere near old enough to have a third grader. She is in the Spanish immersion program again, which I think really helps to develop her creativity. Her homeroom teacher, Sr. Seidl seems like he is going to have the right amount of energy for her. Which is great! We're still working on how to help her learn with her ADHD, but I'm not worried about it, it will all come in time.
She also started piano lessons and seems to still be enjoying them after her second one. It's just the helping her to remember to practice that is tricky.
So many times I feel so completely and utterly discombobulated (one of my favorite words). My brain doesn't always focus on what I want it to and then it shuts down and gets overwhelmed when I try to get it to work. For example, my house always feels like a huge mess. I know what to do to keep it organized, but when I get home from work, it is so hard to find the motivation to keep going to even get laundry done. And don't even talk about the weekends! It's like my body just shuts down. I hate that that happens. I want to be able to come home and not have to think about that stuff and I know that if I would put at least 15 minutes into picking up after myself at night, half of my problem would be gone. But sometimes even that is overwhelming. I go to other peoples' homes and I'm amazed at how they can keep their houses so neat and organized. It is so hard for me to do that, but it's something that I want. I had my sister come help me at one point and for the most part it has stayed, but it still gets so difficult. Sometimes I feel like my brain shuts off the minute I walk in the door. Other times, not very often, I am able to get a little something done while I'm making supper. Then there are times when I just want someone around to help with it. Backing me up when I'm trying to get Chara to help, or helping to just pick up the little stuff like mail, etc. When I need help with stuff like that is when I miss having a husband the most...don't get me wrong, there are other reasons why I miss having a husband, but just having someone to be a constant present support would go a long way. As I sit here and write this I am reminded of Bible verses like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." or "Call on me in your time of need." Those are great verses and praying for God to give me the strength or motivation at times feels like it is falling on deaf ears. I know that God hears and answers all prayers, but why can't the answer to this one be, "OK. Zap, Inga you have the motivation and clearness of mind to get this done."? Not, "Sorry, the answer is you have to struggle with this for awhile and then I'll help you." So, I guess this entry is all to say, does anyone else feel this way and I'm asking for your prayers too. To be able to get those things done, to work out a way for brain to organize everything, and the discouragement to not hinder or overwhelm, but to motivate me. I wouldn't mind if you threw in a prayer or two of your own for me too!
This post became way deeper than I expected when I sat down to write it, but the blog is about the "confessions of a single mom." So there you have it, my confession.
Thanks.
She also started piano lessons and seems to still be enjoying them after her second one. It's just the helping her to remember to practice that is tricky.
So many times I feel so completely and utterly discombobulated (one of my favorite words). My brain doesn't always focus on what I want it to and then it shuts down and gets overwhelmed when I try to get it to work. For example, my house always feels like a huge mess. I know what to do to keep it organized, but when I get home from work, it is so hard to find the motivation to keep going to even get laundry done. And don't even talk about the weekends! It's like my body just shuts down. I hate that that happens. I want to be able to come home and not have to think about that stuff and I know that if I would put at least 15 minutes into picking up after myself at night, half of my problem would be gone. But sometimes even that is overwhelming. I go to other peoples' homes and I'm amazed at how they can keep their houses so neat and organized. It is so hard for me to do that, but it's something that I want. I had my sister come help me at one point and for the most part it has stayed, but it still gets so difficult. Sometimes I feel like my brain shuts off the minute I walk in the door. Other times, not very often, I am able to get a little something done while I'm making supper. Then there are times when I just want someone around to help with it. Backing me up when I'm trying to get Chara to help, or helping to just pick up the little stuff like mail, etc. When I need help with stuff like that is when I miss having a husband the most...don't get me wrong, there are other reasons why I miss having a husband, but just having someone to be a constant present support would go a long way. As I sit here and write this I am reminded of Bible verses like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." or "Call on me in your time of need." Those are great verses and praying for God to give me the strength or motivation at times feels like it is falling on deaf ears. I know that God hears and answers all prayers, but why can't the answer to this one be, "OK. Zap, Inga you have the motivation and clearness of mind to get this done."? Not, "Sorry, the answer is you have to struggle with this for awhile and then I'll help you." So, I guess this entry is all to say, does anyone else feel this way and I'm asking for your prayers too. To be able to get those things done, to work out a way for brain to organize everything, and the discouragement to not hinder or overwhelm, but to motivate me. I wouldn't mind if you threw in a prayer or two of your own for me too!
This post became way deeper than I expected when I sat down to write it, but the blog is about the "confessions of a single mom." So there you have it, my confession.
Thanks.
You know I am right there with you, sister! I have a disease and that disease is called Procrastination! I am thinking of starting a support group, but I'll do that later lol. With all the stress we take on as single moms the mental energy to sort through the stuff just isn't there at the end of the day. I am working on this in my own life by taking the first step and de-cluttering. If I have less to manage it will be easier to manage, at least that's my theory. I can relate to so much in your writing!
ReplyDeleteDear God, silence those voices that tell Inga that "it doesn't matter, it will just get messy again", unsettle her not to the point of frustration but to the point of motivation to change habits. Give her the words to effectively illustrate to Chara how important it is to maintain a clutter-free house, how they will both be happier and less stressed. And lastly, let Inga know she is never alone and she is very much loved. Amen!
Heidi, thank you so much!
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